I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
