I think my fart just growled at me.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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