Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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