u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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