once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize