Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
