I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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