My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Panties = found
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize