Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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