sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
