I wish they made helmets for livers.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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