she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
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