At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
