The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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