Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
