p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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