Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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