so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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