somebody snuck up and got me drunk
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
What changed your mind?
Being sober
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
