i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
