in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize