Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
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Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize