You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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