I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My underwear smells like fireworks.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
