i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
