In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
