Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
