whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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