Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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