i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
