i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
