i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
