How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
