I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize