Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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