I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
