My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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