for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
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I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
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He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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