I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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