i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
