This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
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At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
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I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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