she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
