Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Randomize
