____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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