i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Please don't give away my fajitas
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
