I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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