sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
