Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
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she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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