Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
