why didn't you poke me back
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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