I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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