My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
