thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
