god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I understand Curling. That high.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
