so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
