you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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