chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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