If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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