Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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