kristin has been a bad kristin
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
