Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
