Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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