So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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