pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
